So Monday was the first day I have warn glasses in about eighteen years. It is also been roughly ten years sense I had contact lenses to correct my vision. I've warn them for about a grand total of two days and the only think I am sure of is that my eyes sucked quite a bit.
Actually to be more specific it is my right eye that isn't keeping up its end of things. It's like the having anti-lock brakes. You know that its important to have, but until it is actually needed, you don't really notice if it isn't there. Well I got to the point where it needed to get some help or it may stop working forever. Guess there was some black ice on the road.
Now I tell people my right eye is lazy, which it is, but they assume that means that it drifts and wonders. Not so, its just you're uncle that is really fun but never amounts to much. My left eye is the brother that supports the whole family, but unfortunately, is at risk for getting burnt out. So here I am, sitting inside the ghetto Lake Street Pearl Vision, pupils dilated, looking at unisex glasses, trying to find something not too hip, not too dorky. I kid you not there at one point was only two white people in there, one working, one trying to buy new contacts sans prescription. After a heated fight between them, it ended with the male customer storming out, yelling at the woman working behind the counter, telling her to shove the contacts up her ass.
So I finally settle on a nice brown pair of glasses, but of course there are a million different kinds of lenses. Plastic, polycarbonate, reflective, sun coated, self tinting, fiber-optic, polyorchid, the works, pumpernickle, honey glazed, etc. Since I was eight when I last wore glasses, and I'm pretty sure I went with a style akin to Estelle Getty, I just started yessing and no-ing things based on my own b.s. cheap styles.
When I get my glasses, the woman asks me how they feel. I say fine. This is based on my 2nd grade knowledge of what eye wear should feel like. 12 hours late of pushing my glasses up my nose every ten minutes like Professor Frink ("The colors children", "Glaven!"), I had realized they in fact didn't fit well at all. Plus all my glasses wearing friends are (justifiably) starting to make fun of me for my new look.
Aesthetically, I'm satisfied. But otherwise, I don't know. Apparently my eye can't even be fully corrected, which sucks. I have an astigmatism, which I have heard of but have yet to look up on wikipedia. Half of the reason for these glasses is to protect my golden boy left eye. Which makes me wonder if I should get some rec-specs for when I play sports(you better rec-spect me).
So I have a new challenge of keeping my a.d.d. hands from pulling my glasses on and off every five minutes and also keeping my glasses from sliding down my nose every two minutes. Its a tough battle. I do look way more respectable and scholarly (according to Chaus anyway). If I'm spotted with a pocket protector though, someone please slap me. My balance of nerdy, athletic, emotional, and stoic is what makes me positively Libra. If my scales get thrown, then I'm just a stupid Pisces. With those silly fish apposed to each other. Like one one salmon is confused about which is upstream. A real Libra would take too much time to figure out which direction is which is go the wrong direction. In fact I've been thinking about this way too much. Guess I'm still a Libra after all. One whose vision is now closer to balance.