Pull Out your GPS, This is Minnesota

I am appalled at the number of people I’ve had to endure complaining about the weather already. Was it colder than it’s been. Sure. But guess what, you live in Minnesota. You chose to live here. Maybe if you were a snotty sixteen year old who was born here you can try to make the “I didn’t ask to be born here, let alone., like, born” argument. Really you should just be grateful you have Uggs and puffy coat. In my day you got either a Dallas Cowboys or a Seattle Supersonics Starter jacket and you liked it. But ultimately, it was like 57-60℉. HArdly anything worth talking about. There are little African children who would kill fora 60˚ day. Shit gets cold in the desert. And we all know winter is coming in a few months save the complaining for then. Really, you shouldn’t complain about that at all unless it trumps last year. It won’t, but Minnesotans love to talk about our weather. Wh ynot engage in a conversation about the war(s), our sad sports teams (except WNBA, Growlout to my Lynx!), or the socioeconomic discrimination of University avenue by the new Lightrail (but don’t complain about its being built, have you even been listening to me?).  

Ok, I got a little more serious then I planned on there, but seriously. The heat doesn’t need to be turned on. Its going to be back in the 70s next week. Get a grip. Grown some (testicals or ovaries, for the ladies). You live in Minnesotas. Take pride in it.

"Isn’t it always cold there?"

"Nah, its not even as cold as a Coors Light/Ice Cube commercial"

Excuse me while I go open up another window.