American Idling 

What the fuck is wrong with people on American Idol?

I’m not too proud to say I watched it last week or that I laughed throughout most of it. But damn, why did your ass go on that show? You know damn well you can’t sing. That crackle in your voice is not a new note, that’s the sound of your dreams crumbling. I’m sorry to tell you but you can’t sing. Here is where I believe the problem is.

Theory 1: Your mother thinks that her baby can do anything that he or she puts their mind to.

Awwww. Guess what? My mommy told me that too, but even if I put my mind to singing, I would still suck ass at it. Are you looking for 15 minutes of fame? Cause I clocked you at about 1 minute, 30 seconds. Then these shitty ass acts are forcing perfectly good singers to resort to bullshit to get noticed. Come on Scooter Girl get off the Razor and sing a real fucking song.

Theory 2: American Idol is planting these acts.

I would like to think that the honorable medium of Reality TV is above acts such as these but it is all about ratings and topping what has come before. After two seasons of shitty ass acts, you start to run out of bad people, maybe its time to make up some bad acts with bad actors.

Speaking of bad acts, why the fuck is Ryan Seacrest so fucking popular. He’s a fucking tool shed. I hope there hurry up and put the show On Air on the air so they can cancel it. Your not funny, not that charismatic, and some of my female friends question what team you’re playing on. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just don’t lead on the ladies. Simons out.