Dollar Dollar Bill Y'all

Who the fuck designed the new twenty dollar bill? Are you serious? This is the most ridiculous looking thing I have ever seen. “Oh, the colors children!” Are other countries supposed to take us seriously when they see this thing? Right now France is laughing. Even Saddam is chuckling in his cell. I mean did they have a contest to see who would design the new bill. If I knew that little 3rd grader Emily Procter of Boise, Idaho was going to fuck all of our country’s integrity by using more colors and giving it a few more incarnations of Jackson’s head, I would have entered the contest. And why? Because the other “uncounterfeitable” twenty got copied. Surprise, surprise. Who didn’t know that big headed piece of shit wasn’t going to get counterfeited. This is the new age of computers, fraud, and greed. Where there is a will, there is a way. And guess what this fucked up ass bill is going to get copied too. Then what? We need more heads, more vibrant colors. If you light it on fire, it will burn red white and blue. Pinch Jackson’s head and he will sing America the Beautiful. Find some other important shit to do Government, like getting us out of debt. Maybe the counterfeiters could help us pay that shit off. That’s all Simons has to say.